Little Heart

                   I just woke up from a deep sleep and looked around me, rubbing my eyes. That was a new place for me. I recalled; I have started my journey to home yesterday night, so probably I should be at home, but there are no framed childhood photos, color full paintings; I didn't even hear my mom’s scream to wake me up. So the answer was too clear “Where I was, not home at all”. The bed spreads were white and I can smell the dettol..!! am I at hospital??  I moved my legs with extreme care, yes I can. I did the same with each body part. Yes, all works fine, still my entire body felt a pain from inside. I failed to recognize the reason why I was there. The room was occupied with a vacant bed, a mineral water bottle and so on… I wanted to ask someone who took me here?, why was I admitted there? But there was no one around me. To answer all these questions so I started recalling from yesterday evening.

                   I was sitting at Shanti Nagar bus station Bangalore, I took mobile from pocket and tried to connect internet,but I noticed that battery was less than 30%. Time was just 7:00 pm. It was sure that I will not be able to use the mobile more than an hour. So my eyes started searching for the charging point, I found some but all were filled with Laptop and mobile chargers, faces of people standing beside the charging point told me that we are in queue. Still almost an hour for the bus to come so I thought of charging my mobile from laptop, but I didn’t have data cable, I looked at the girl she was sitting beside me, she was using a Micro max mobile. I just managed to ask her whether she has data cable. Her answer was a rude “No” that made me to think about my question, did I ask “will you marry me?” the way she frown at me was like that [she might be trying to hide her fear in her anger]. Last chance to fill my mobile’s stomach also went for a toss.

                   Time went off, it was almost 8:00 PM, I received a message from KSRTC with bus number, I found the bus, and it was placed at the back of the queue in first platform. I just got into the bus and made myself comfortable in seat number 15. I switched off my mobile, thinking my foolishness of missing my data cable at my Room. I started watching outside, and saw a cute girl. She must be around 3 years old; her hairs were tied like two horns on her head. I was really enjoying her naughtiness. I took my eyes from the girl and turned back by hearing an “Excuse me”. I looked at the person who called me, that was a young girl; she was wearing jeans with sky blue top. Hems of the top were cut like waves, and there was a lot of cloth below the neck. All together it looked like the tailor had made all his experiments on the same top. Her eye brows were nicely cropped but her eyes told me she is too tired. I just looked into her eyes to know the reason. She continued, “Can u please take your bag from this seat?” that made me realize that I had kept my bag on her seat! I took it and kept on my lap. She took her seat and made herself comfortable. 

                  Bus started moving from Shanti Nagar. I usually ask details of the person who sits beside me. But now I am feeling really uncomfortable to talk to a girl, I don’t know what she is going to think about me. I looked at her in particular time intervals. She was in her own world. After some time, she took a packet of ‘little hearts’ and start eating. I wanted to start the conversation, but a thousand questions came into my mind. What will she think about me? Which language will I choose? Above all, this was the girl who gave a rude ‘No’ an hour back! Bus reached the Satellite Bus station, I said the same ‘excuse me’ to her to give a space to come out of my seat. At that time the last little heart biscuit was in her lips. She gave me space and threw the empty packet though my window.

                   I came back to my seat with a bottle of water, good day biscuit and a ‘Little Hearts’ packet [‘little hearts’ was an additional item from my usual purchase of food while going back home]. I opened the packet and lead towards her, she said ‘no thanks’ with a smile. Bus start moving, time went off. That most thick silent wall had broken by her question “did your mobile go switched off?” If she had asked that through a text message, her inbox would have filled with lot of sad smiley, I was that depressed. But I said a casual “NO” and asked a similar question in return “Do you have enough charge in your mobile?” Her answer was a bit long it includes what time she charged, what is her battery percentage, in which level it discharge, what time she may need to charge it again… that answer looked like an entire analysis report of her mobile battery, I felt she may be a developer of a battery saver application.She asked me, why don’t you charge while going for a long journey, it was a starting point of our talk.

                  

                  In some point I felt her fully charged mobile will disturb our conversation. But I loved her mobile network for providing a bad coverage while traveling. She kept her mobile in her bag and started talking to me. We started with our professional life and gave an end with our personal life. If you ask what we shared in between, the answer might contain two autobiographies. I can tell you that she is an unmarried 21 years old girl who came here for her engineering studies. If I can tell her age, you can guess the depth of our conversation. I was too tired that day, and was shivering with fever. We had a long talk till mid night. I don’t know when I fell asleep. But we became too close in those few hours.

                   After that? Rest of the story still stays blank to me. How did I come here? That brain warming thoughts broke by the entry of a girl. I knew her; she was the girl who can answer all my questions running in my mind. Yes the girl whom I was talking about. She came and sat near me, my eye kept all the questions with in my look. She told that she took me to the hospital in the morning. I was unconscious in the morning due to high temperature. I was really surprised to hear the entire incident. I tried to imagine the situation, ohh it was horrible – I really felt good for the girl who took care of me in such a critical situation. I felt like asking her “can u care me in my entire life?” – But then I felt it will be a bad approach to a girl who saved my life. But at the end of my curiosity I asked her “Why did you take me to the hospital?” Her answer was surprising and it seems like the answer for the question which was hidden in my heart “I want to care for you in my entire life”.

An afraid night @ Bangalore

Lady attacked at ATM counter in the morning; a guy got robbed in the mid night; these kinds of news are familiar for a Bangalorian. But it bothered me when my friend became a victim. He got robbed last week in the Garden city of India.

            A Year back we heard similar news happened in other cities. Now it is in our city and then to our friends/ relatives. Yes! the day is not so far when you and I will be a part of the news. All these news leads to an unsecure Bangalore. After all we don’t know who is good, who is bad. If you are alone you should worry about yourself.

This is my experience about the journey in a mid night

A Sudden wake up from my sleep; I was sitting in the window seat of a bus, Some Kannada Movie was playing; I just looked outside through the window. I could see the Reliance Jewelers – Yes, it’s near to our office! We are about to reach; my watch showed 1 am.

            We went to Ooty for an adventure trip; we started last Friday night, after 2 joyful days we are back in Bangalore. Now we are in the same place where we started our journey before 48 hours.  

I got down with my wet jacket and a small bag- filled with my cloths drenched in rain. All the members in bus followed me to office. It is Sunday night; ohhh! Sorry Monday morning, there were no cabs. Most of them had kept their vehicle in the office before we left, some among us who didn’t have vehicle managed to get lift from them. I had to go to Indiranagar and no one in our team had to come my way. As time passed, count of people came down.

I saw an Auto parked in front of the gate, I went towards it, the Auto driver was in a Black jacket, the cigarette in his hand was about to die. I asked him for the fare to Indiranagar, he said “200Rs”’ – this is more than double of actual fair – still I agreed to go because I wanted to reach home soon, somehow.

I came back to rest of the people who were planning to go; Ramanitharan – My colleague [we call him Ramani] told me that going alone in Auto is really risky in midnight- But I didn’t have another choice. So I told him there is nothing to worry and left the place, wishing happy journey and sweet dreams to everyone.

I and my auto driver started the journey – The words which Ramani told me were still running in my mind. So I closely watched each movement of Driver as well as the route. We entered Sent mark road, now comes Anil Kumble Circle signal where we need to take a right [or that was the only way I know].

            Unfortunately the same thing happened, of what I was worried in last few minutes. He took the auto straight towards the darkness. I was losing my breath, felt my story is going to end–I was in a trap, didn't know what to do; “if I keep my mouth shut next day I will be breaking NEWS for Bangalore Mirror”. I felt like jumping out of the auto, I held my jacket tightly. At last I broke my silence and shouted to the Auto driver.

“Bayya ye kyahai ? , Indiranagar ko right Jana Padegena ? ….” – with my half boiled Hindi I expressed my fear.

He replied: “Wo , One way hai, yeseethajasaktha..”

“Nahi, mujhe malum hai, vo route men hi janapadegaaaa …”I told him by leading my finger towards my road – My voice broke somewhere in the middle of the conversation which showed how scared I was.

I couldn’t see the road in front of me; it was really dark. He took a 'U' turn from next junction and came back to that way I told him. And we continued the journey towards Indiranagar.

           I was still afraid, didn’t know what he had planned for me, my trust on him had lost. Lots of stories which I heard from my friends came in to my mind. Each crowd beside the road we passed felt like people who are waiting to trap me. Whenever he applied breaks and while going through the lonely places made me feel like he was going to apply his plan on me.

            I wanted to call someone and talk something, to make myself comfortable. But in that midnight no one would be there to pick my call. I just wanted to ask him something about his family to reduce my tension, but my voice stuck somewhere in my throat.

            After Halsoor Metro Station- the station just before Indiranagar, he took his mobile and called someone, now we are just 1 km far from my Home. But still he can do something. That moment I took my mobile and called my roommate and told him that I am about to reach.

          

 I told the auto driver to turn right and go straight, I didn’t feel to keep the auto driver wait at least for a second, so I took money from my pocket. Now we were near my Home, I told him to stop the vehicle, I got down from the Auto and gave the money and said Thanks and walked away from him.

While walking to Home I was thinking about the Auto driver, is he a good person? Till this moment I don’t know, probably the answer is yes. The half hour I spend inside the Auto was horrible. We can’t trust even those people who smiles to us. The city has turned like that.

            I wrote this story because I reached safely, or in other words I escaped from a trap. This is not just a fear of an individual. Everyone who is alone in the city may face similar situations. I don’t want to blame anyone, but wanted this city to be safe like our home.

മണം

ഇന്നലെ പെട്ടന്നൊരു മഴ പെയ്തപ്പോളാണ്, ആ മണ്ണിന്റെ മണം എന്റെ മൂക്കിലേക്ക് അടിച്ച കയറിയത് , അത് ഒര്മപെടുത്തിയത് ഒന്നാം ക്ലാസ്സില്‍ കണ്ടന്‍ ട്രൌസര്‍ ഇട്ടു പോയ എന്നെ ആണ്.
അതെ ഓരോ മണവും നമുക്ക് ഓരോ ഓര്‍മകളാണ് ,
കുട്ടിക്കൂറ പൌഡര്‍ എന്റെ മനസിലേക്ക് അവളുടെ ഓര്‍മ്മകള്‍ കുത്തി നിറച്ചപ്പോള്‍, എന്റെ പ്രിയ സുഹൃത്തിനു ലൈഫ് ബോയ്‌ സോപിന്റെ മണമായിരുന്നു. ചന്ദന തിരിയുടെ മണം എപ്പോളും മരണത്തിന്റെ ഒര്മാപെടുത്തലാണ്.

അതെ ജീവിതം കുറെ മണങ്ങള്‍ മാത്രം ആണ് , ബേബി പൌടെറില്‍ തുടങ്ങി ചന്ദന തിരിയില്‍ അവസാനിക്കുന്ന കുറെ നല്ല മണങ്ങള്‍....

First Slap With Care ...

At the end of my 6^th standard we had shifted to new house, Yes to my dream home [while sitting with my mom , I usually say that I feel this home still like a dream – While writing this story also I am feeling the same , Yes that was my BIG Dream]. My house - one side is road and rest of the sides covered with Parkland. So in rainy seasons my home will be covered by water except road side. Lots of children come and catch fish from that water, but I was not allowed to play with them. I had only permitted to saw from my veranda.

I had been studying in 7^th standard; to complete my 7^th standard I forced to stay with Grandma [where I stayed till my 6^th standard ], in every week I had two days holiday to spend with my own family so I like Fridays. Those weekends were remembered by smile of Friday and tear of Sunday. It’s enough, let us come to the story.

That was mid of July, a drizzling Saturday - first day of my weekend holiday. I had seen that some of my friends were catching fish. They called me to join I also interested and looked into mother’s eyes, she toss her head with no sign. Time went off, all my friends enjoyed a lot and went for lunch. I was still looking at the pond – I had enough freedom even though I felt a cage of Love.

Again I went to mom to ask permission, but she was too busy in Kitchen, time was around 12:45 pm. My mind was in a mood to play, I really had an eager to play like my friends had. After a lot of thoughts, I just decided to play in the pond, my estimated time slot was 10 minutes, after 15 minutes at any moment my father might reach – He had been a Beedi worker and he usually come for lunch at home. As per my plan mom never going to saw me from kitchen and she was already busy in kitchen.

As per my plan I would not going caught and the last chance was spy work of my sister but she was not there to do it today. So it was the most relevant time for me.

I closed all loop holes and started playing in pond, while touching water with right leg, I felt like a parrot which flew from the cage – it was awesome, really no word to explain. I could see some small fishes were swimming in water. I wanted to catch them, I would never get a chance like this, I put my leg into water and splashed it but missed!!.  I had seen my friends were using the same trick to catch fish. I keep on trying, but all fishes were too intelligent, they went in the deep of the water .The water weren't settled by my play, I waited some more time to settle the water.

Now I had only one aim in my mind, I wanted to catch a fish and prove myself in front of me [coz it was a secret operation, did u forget ? :P]. I put my leg with extreme care in the water and tried again. Yes, I saw a fish flying with splashed water. I took my eyes from the water, but my eyes were ended at a white dhoti which wet by my splash. Oh My God that was my Father!!

He came and slap on my leg, I didn’t know why I worn trouser on that day – to get that direct slap to my leg? I felt sad – that slap was not that much painful to made me cry, but father was in angry; but that made me uncomfortable. He took me to the home by pulling by ears my eyes were became red and filled with tears, but it wasn't rolled out - that made my vision unclear. I couldn't accept the reality, rather than my father’s slap I was confused on the failure of my master plan.

I forgot about the slap, there was only one thought were running in mind my mission failure – Yes, it was extremely planned, then what happened?. When we enter into to our home – My father’s one hand was still on my ear, I looked towards clock through the gap of his wings and hand. OMG! It was 1.20 pm – how? As per my plan I should be here in my home, but I was being hanged on father's hand. How did it happen? – Is clock ran too fast – might be, I looked into father’s watch by leading my head a little forward, oh there was also – While sitting simply this clock moves slowly but While playing it covers half an hour within 10 minutes. Still my plan was good, clock played – that thought made me comfortable :).

I realized that father was watching my mission at least last 15 minutes. So I didn’t have any word to utter. I heard lot of advise by putting my head down. I didn’t know from where this much tear came in my eyes, it begin to rolled out. Mom saw that and hugged me and said “Its OK, don’t repeat this.” – I managed to wipe my tear in her Sari. But still I confused on the tear, did it really come of  slap or mission failure ? .

                We all sat together to had Lunch. I was looking at my plate, I didn’t have enough courage to look him. I looked at the clock, it was moving too slowly – I felt it was too tired after a long run and taking rest. I finished my lunch and escaped quickly from his eyes.

                I slept a little to came out from all bad memories  lost of mission , slap from father – I really felt angry on my father – not because he slapped because I didn’t see the fish which I caught first time in my Life. Fish ow ?, did that jump into pond again?  Lots of thoughts came into to my mind.

                At that evening father came with a box, as like many children my favorite was also ice cream– in my life till that day I ate ice cream less than 5 times. I really afraid to go near to him, didn’t know what was going to happen now. This would be a continuation of afternoon? so I sat on the upstairs father kept that box on the table, Mom took that and led towards me, I didn’t mind she opened the box there was a ball ice cream, she gave that to me and rub on my forehead. While eating that with lots of joy mom murmured “After that slap, your father felt more pain than you.”

                At that moment I looked at him. That time I felt guilty on myself I was the reason for all these situation. I ran and sat on his lap and gave a spoon of ice cream and a kissed him ..